


Happy

by okjb



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Friends to Lovers, M/M, bc jackjae needs all the love in this world, idk ?, ish?, power bottom youngjae
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-16
Updated: 2016-06-16
Packaged: 2018-07-15 11:14:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7220134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/okjb/pseuds/okjb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Youngjae wants to give Jackson what the rapper can't give himself, happiness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Happy

**Author's Note:**

> after seeing all the posts of Jackson over working himself (like always :/) my feels got to me, and this happened.  
> also, jackjae, because they both deserve all the love in this world.  
> i wrote this after seeing Make Happy - Bo Burnham so that influenced this alot  
> ^^

Jackson works hard. Everyone knows that. But what the fans don’t see, what the media doesn’t cover is how hard Jackson works to work hard. He pushes his body until it can’t move and then some. He works his voice until it’s spent, but still always manages to yell encouraging words to his fans at airports in between flights.

Of course, none of that was necessary but that is what made Jackson, Jackson. Everything he did was for someone, not wanting to let anyone down, not expecting anything in return. All he wants is to make people happy, even if it means destroying himself.

Recently, Youngjae’s heart breaks at every image, every article, and every episode that airs of Jackson. He knows his hyung has the busiest schedule, yet he always puts on a smile regardless if he’s gone 20 hours without a break and eating while on the go. It was the lifestyle they signed up for, but Youngjae can’t take how no one ever bothers to let Jackson take a breather. He should be grateful to Jackson. After all, Got7 is getting much attention oversees and it’s all due in part to him.  

Plus there’s not much Youngjae can do to protest. He can’t even dare to look into Jackson’s eyes when he returns late at night- or rather very early morning- from his tight packed schedule that resumes after a 3 hour nap. All Youngjae has to worry about is writing songs, and even at that, he has no limited time frame. What right does he have to tell Jackson to take it slow? It eats at him alive, especially at night. 

Since Jaebum and Jackson became roommates, when Jackson is out, Youngjae sometimes sneaks into their room on the pretext that he misses his old roommate. Though he can’t fool anyone. All of the members know of his quite obvious infatuation with the rapper, so Jaebum doesn’t question Youngjae, only giving a sympathetic smile and returning to his phone.

 

“He’s late.” Youngjae whispers to himself. It was nearing 2am and Jackson had clearly said over text that he should be back at midnight- 1 at the latest.  So Youngjae wobbles out of Jackson’s bed and heads to the living room, having a better view of the door. He sits lifelessly for a good five minutes, until his body becomes restless with worry. He bites on his nails, a habit that makes him sadder because Jackson always swatted his hand away from his mouth saying ‘don’t ruin your pretty hands.’ He lets out a heavy sigh and buries his face in his hands.

“Why does he have to make everyone happy? He the one that deserves to be happy.” He softly sobs. Though in the deepest part of his heart he wants to cry out, ‘Why can’t I make him happy? What do I have to do to make him smile like he used to?’ Another reason why Youngjae chose not to see his guest staring shows was because Jackson wasn’t happy. He’d smile, he’d laugh, sure, but his toothy grins never reached his eyes, his tired, sad eyes.

It was probably too early in their lives to experience an existential depression. But Youngjae noticed- Jaebum and Mark probably have also- Jackson’s steadily declining mental health. When he actually did have a break, it consisted of him is his bed, sleeping or just staring off into the ceiling. Youngjae wanted to lie in bed with him, cuddle him and give him the compliments he deserved. But Jinyoung always held his arm out, blocking entrance to his room, saying he just needed space. _But Jinyoung doesn’t understand, that’s only making him feel lonelier_!  

“-Jae? Youngjae?” The shuffling of keys and the soft warm tone coming from the door makes Youngjae sniffle and quickly rub his eyes with the back of his hand.

“Hyung you’re back!” Youngjae rushes to Jackson’s side when he sees him stumbling towards the couch.

“I’m okay Youngjae, don’t worry. I think I just stepped on one of coco’s toys” _Liar._ “What are you doing up so late? You better not have been up playing a game, because you know that’s not good for you.” Jackson’s concerned tone tortured the butterflies inside Youngjae’s stomach. He can barely walk, yet he’s worrying about him. Jackson throws his body on the couch and throws his feet up.

“Let’s go to your room. I’ll help you. You won’t be comfortable here.”

“I’m too sleepy. Let’s sleep here.” _Let’s_?

Youngjae knows he should say no. Make Jackson sleep on his bed, then retreat to his own room. But he knows what his hyung needs. Even though he knows it’s nothing romantic, probably not even platonic, but Jackson needs comforting and Youngjae was going to do what he could to help him in whatever way he could. “Okay.”

“How was your day?” Youngjae asks as Jackson pulls him into his chest, wrapping his arms and legs around him.

“Fun.” He says softly. “I missed you though. Jb sent me yours and his’s solo, and I listened to it whenever I could. Did you write any good songs today?”

“Not really. But tomorrow’s a new start right?” He muffles, and can feel Jackson smiling. “Hey Jackson?”

“Yeah?”

_I love you. You don’t have to carry such a burden by yourself. Let me help, okay?_ “Are you happy?”

Youngjae can feel Jackson shocked by the question as his body tenses around Youngjae.

“Mhm.” He hums, and Youngjae tries not to let the poor excuse of an answer get to his heart. Even if he can trick the entire nation with his broadcasted lies, Youngjae knows better. But he only pulls Jackson closer and hopes to one day be able to make Jackson happy.

 

When he wakes up, he feels the warmth of a blanket that his sleepy mind can’t process how it got there. He’s alone, and can’t help but frown. Jackson already left and is probably on his third schedule of the day.

“You slept on the couch?” Mark, with coco in tow, asks as he walks towards the kitchen.

“Yeah, I waited for Jackson.”

Mark frowns at the response. “You should tell him how you feel. I think it’ll be good for the both of you.”

“No. He has too much to worry about. I don’t want him hating me, and I don’t think I can live with him not talking to me right now. Maybe later.” He smiles sadly.

 

It’s been one week since the last time he saw Jackson. With a hectic schedule as always, Jackson was constantly on the go. Youngjae became busy with helping recording songs and guides, so he was always at the studio when Jackson came home. With missed phone calls, and messages read hours later, Youngjae was losing all hope of seeing Jackson. Not only did he miss him, but his voice was beginning to sound strained and harsh. Take after take, and with Jackson on his mind he gave 120 percent, which was finally starting to take its toll on his throat.

“Thanks Youngjae, let’s take a 15 minute break.” The producer announces and Youngjae nods in agreeance. He walks into an empty practice room and sits against the mirrored wall. He finds his phone and dials Jackson.

“Youngjae, where are you? I thought I’d catch you here, since I came home early.”

“Sorry hyung, I’m at the studio right now. I probably won’t be done soon.”

“Are you sick?”

‘huh?” Youngjae quickly realizing that his voice must sound ugly after singing for hours straight. “Oh no, my throat just hurts a bit, but I’m fine.”

“Oh well I’ll just see you at home tonight, maybe? You don’t have to waste your voice on me.”

Youngjae didn’t want the call to end. He missed Jackson. Just hearing his voice gives him countless hours of energy. “Jackson, can you stay on the line? My break is over in 10 minutes, so until then?” He hears Jackson chuckle on the line.

“Of course.”

Jackson talks about many useless things. How he found money on the floor, but too scared to keep it so he gave it to a little girl buying chocolate milk at the store. He talks about how Mark convinced him recite the entire multiplications chart in English because he said it’d be fun. Youngjae chuckles at his friend, he’s so utterly in love with, making him laugh when he was feeling completely down. He wishes he could do the same for Jackson.

_I love you._

“I love you too Youngjae. Well 10 minutes are up. You better get back to work, so you can get here early.” Jackson ends the call, and Youngjae tries to prevent himself from hyperventilating. He just said that out loud. He just told the boy he’s had a crush on for 3 years now that he loves him. Jackson probably thought he meant as a friend, so that’s why he said it back. _Fuck_. Youngjae slaps his cheeks and shakes his head. He still had a long night ahead of him, and the quicker he finished, the sooner he could see Jackson.

 

Youngjae finally gets home at 4am, and tiptoes his way inside their dorm. They all have to be up in two hours for a photoshoot so he doesn’t want to deprive his friends of precious sleep.

“Youngjae, welcome home” Jackson smiles from the couch.

“What are you doing up hyung?! We have to be up in two hours!”

“Don’t worry, I slept a lot today. Plus I missed you.” _He’s such a liar_.

“Well I’m tired. Can we sleep on the couch?” Jackson nods and moves to make room for him. Youngjae closes his eyes and tries to feign sleep, so Jackson could quickly follow. Though after Youngjae steadies his breathing, he feels Jackson breathe against his ear.

“Don’t push yourself too hard Jae. You’re too precious to me.” Those words run through Youngjae’s mind, even after Jackson falls asleep. It’s getting hard to hide his feelings.

 

“Jackson, come meet the director.” “Jackson, run your lines before it’s your turn.” “Jackson come translate for our model.”

Youngjae has had enough of everyone calling out to Jackson. They were there for a photoshoot, yet everyone was asking for his help. Of course Jackson would never decline, so all morning he was running around.

“Jackson, can you-“

“HE HAS TO HELP ME, SO HE CAN’T.” Youngjae yells at the direction of the voice. He gets up from the makeup chair and pulls Jackson with him to the bathroom.

“Youngjae what’s wrong? What can I help you with?”

“Why can’t you just tell them no? Tell them you don’t want to, that you’re tired or just don’t feel like helping! They don’t even mutter a single thank you. They use you and use you, not knowing you’re tired. You’re too nice, I hate it. You’re funny, and kind, and smart, and handsome, and perfect, but they only see you as someone that can benefit them.” He tears now silently flowing, smearing the eyeliner that took minutes to apply.

Jackson doesn’t reply simply bringing Youngjae into his embrace. He hugs him tightly, and brings his hands to Youngjae cheeks. “Thank you Youngjae. Thank you.” They’re the only words he says, as he wipes away Youngjae’s tears and kisses his cheek. Once Youngjae stops crying, Jackson steps back but never removing his hands from his face. “You always manage to see into my heart, so I can’t hide anything from you. But I don’t mind. If it means the rest of Got7, especially you, don’t have to be pushed too hard, I don’t mind taking on a few mores tasks. I’m an athlete, my body can take the stress. I don’t know what I’ll do if you get sick from over exertion.”

“What are you talking about?! Who fucking cares about me! You should take your own advice. Don’t you know how worried everyone gets? I feel useless when you’re working so hard, and I can’t help you. What can I do so you won’t have such a heavy weight on your shoulders?”    

“Youngjae, you help me so much. For someone who can read me so well, how can you not see that?”

“See what?”

“Youngjae, I love you. Not in the hyung-dongsaeng way that you love me. When I hear your voice, I feel like I can get through any day. Seeing you, makes me genuinely happy. When I get to hug or cuddle with you, I feel like my chest is going to implode from how fast my heart is beating. I also have not so innocent dreams about you. You’re the one who’s perfect, and beautiful, and charming, and so so kind.”

“Uhh” Youngjae rubs his eyes, as to make sure the person in front of him is actually Jackson. Because if he heard right, Jackson just confessed to loving him. “Umm” Not only that, Jackson has had dirty thoughts about him too. Youngjae could feel his cheeks burning, and his chest constricting. Youngjae looks up at Jackson, whose eyes are staring down at the floor wearing a kicked expression. He’s probably done too much thinking and not enough talking.

“Jackson.. I-I”

“It’s okay, Youngjae. You don’t have to respond. I didn’t confess expecting an answer. I just wanted to make you realize how important you are to me. Even if I haven’t been able to be happy during broadcasting or recording, when I’m with you I’m seriously, undoubtedly happy.”

“ILOVEYOUTOO.” Youngjae yells too fast, but loud enough to shut Jackson up. “I mean, I love you too. I have since the day I met you.”

“It’s not a race, no need to show off.” Jackson grins. “So does this mean you’ll be my boyfriend? My one and only? My Darling? My-“

“I get it hyung.” Youngjae giggles. “and yes, I’ll be your boyfriend. But you have to promise me something!”

“And what’s that?’

“You can’t keep everything to yourself. Talk to me more. I want to know everything. When you’re sad, angry, happy, everything. I don’t want to just hear about the good things, okay?”

“I promise. Now let’s get you back into the makeup chair, I think you ruined your makeup.” Jackson intertwines their finger together, so naturally, and pulls Youngjae out the bathroom. Before Jackson can push the door open, Youngjae turns him around and presses his lips against Jackson’s. It’s short and chaste, hardly worth the title of a kiss, but with Jackson’s flushed reaction, Youngjae considers it a triumph and rushes to get his makeup done.

 

“You know, we’re all glad you guys got together, but if you’re going to hog up the living room and not even watch tv, I’m going to go off.” Mark huff as he’s sitting on the floor while Youngjae and Jackson are cuddling on the sofa. Somehow, it’s become their go to spot when their home. Jaebum is always in his room and scowls everything the two are in there, so they found refuge in their living room.

“Sorry bro, you can have the remote.” Jackson throws Mark the control as he refocuses his attention on Youngjae. One of Youngjae’s favorite characteristics of Jackson’s was that he was very affectionate, showing his feelings with his body made the boy very honest and easy to read.

They’ve been dating for three weeks, and between the stolen kisses during their breaks, they’ve become very open with their feelings, at least in front of the members. So even if they’re just sitting on the couch, Jackson isn’t embarrassed to carry Youngjae onto his lap and leave lazy kisses on his lips, much like right now.

“Ugh, you guys are too much.” Mark rolls his eyes as he gets up to go to his room. Both he and Jackson giggle, as if that was their plan all along.

“You’re too cute.” Jackson whispers against the shell of Youngjae’s ear. His voice an octave lower, and Youngjae shivers at the tone. Jackson scatters kisses along his jaw, playful ones on his cheek and nose, and intimate ones on his neck and on his lips. Youngjae always found Jackson attractive, but he never dwelled too much, thinking that was a possibility only allowed in his dreams. But now, with every touch, Youngjae craved more. He was content with kissing at first, but now every time they kissed he couldn’t pull away. It was either Jackson, who had to leave for a schedule, or they were interrupted and had to move apart. “I have a radio show in an hour.” Jackson breathes against his lips.

“I know.” Youngjae pouts.

“I don’t want to leave.”

“Don’t. Stay here with me. Please.” It was a selfish request, that they both knew wasn’t possible.

“I’m sorry baby.” He kisses Youngjae slowly, seeping his apology with every move of his lips. “I don’t have anything scheduled this weekend. We’ll spend it together okay?” Youngjae nods, and with that, Jackson is off to the broadcasting station.

Youngjae rushes to Jaebum’s room after he sees Jackson off, and thankfully everyone is in the room.

“Guys, you all have to leave Saturday. Jackson finally has the day off, and I want to be alone with him.”

“Oho. Look at how you’re talking to your hyungs.” Jinyoung smirks.

“Don’t you think it’s too early for sex?” Jaebum raises an eyebrow.

“He’s been waiting years for this day.” Mark shrugs but smiles at Youngjae.

“Gross.” Both Yugyeom and Bambam comment.

But thankfully, they all agree to leave for most of the day, and Youngjae is beyond ecstatic.

 

Saturday arrives, and Jackson gets called in to a meeting early in the morning. The members don’t plan to leave until noon, so Youngjae doesn’t really mind.

Though now, it’s past 2pm and Youngjae is starting to get irritated. Jackson had promised, but what could he do if he got called in by JYP himself. So Youngjae takes a nap, not wanting to text his boyfriend.

When he wakes up, the sun is setting, and Youngjae doesn’t even bother looking at the time. He heads to Jackson’s room and lies on his bed. He just wanted to spend time alone with him, he’d be fine without anything intimate.

“Youngjae! Youngjae, where are you?” Jackson yells throughout the house. Youngjae peeks out from the room, and Jackson runs to him. “I’m sorry Youngjae, I got caught up.” The dark circles under Jackson eyes have grown, Youngjae notices. It was probably a stressful day for Jackson, yet he’s still as considerate for him as ever.

‘It’s fine, I took a nap. Want to cuddle?” Youngjae smiles, and pulls Jackson into his room.

 

“It was a rough day, right? Don’t worry about me, just get some rest okay?” Youngjae nuzzles in between the nook of Jackson’s neck. He breathes in the familiar, comfortable scent of his boyfriend and brings his body closer.

“Don’t do that.” Jackson murmurs. “It turns me on.”

Youngjae lifts his head to look into Jackson’s eyes, but he has them closed. “But I always do that.” He pouts.

“I know and I always have to restrain myself from jumping you.” Jackson finally opens his eyes and lets out a sigh.

“Everyone’s out, so you don’t have to hold back today.”

“Youngjae.” Jackson eyes him hungrily, and Youngjae’s body trembles at the stare. Jackson suddenly captures Youngjae’s lips with his own, biting his lower lip for entrance. Youngjae lustfully obliges and gives control of their kisses to Jackson.

Tired of kissing on their sides, Youngjae climbs onto Jackson’s waist and leans down for another kiss. A kiss with too much tongue and teeth, but perfect for predicting what’s to come. He traces his tongue along Jackson’s defined jaw, and down his neck. Jackson’s shirt is loose enough to let Youngjae pull it down just enough to latch onto his collarbones. While nibbling at the skin, Jackson’s hands work up Youngjae’s shirt. His warm hands wandering up his chest, brushing against his nipples that causes Youngjae to gasp.

Youngjae gets off the bed, and removes his shirt. Jackson sits up to do the same. Wanting to skip as much foreplay as possible, Youngjae pulls down his sweat pants and underwear in one movement. His erection bobs against his lower stomach, and watches as Jackson eyes him with such carnal want. Youngjae falls to his knees- a little too hard but that’s a worry for another time- and scoots closer to Jackson. He tugs on the sides of the tight jeans, and Jackson understands, he lifts his hips to allow Youngjae to pull down the material.

Jackson is equally aroused, and Youngjae moves quickly to place kisses along the shaft. With low curses coming from Jackson encouraging Youngjae to continue, he sucks at the head and slowly takes in every inch. His moves, probably amateur at best, steadily works to please his boyfriend. Feeling Jackson tensing, Youngjae comes up with a pop of his lips. He never knew how giving head could be so satisfying for both parties, but now he understood. The noises, and pleasure he brought out of Jackson was more than enough to send him over the edge.

“Youngjae, let me.” Jackson was about to repeat the favor, but Youngjae wasn’t going to let him.

“No, let me take care of you hyung.” He pushes Jackson to lie back onto the bed, and Youngjae shuffles to reach for a small bottle in his discarded pants. He climbs back on top of Jackson and places a hand on Jackson’s chest to steady himself. The other hand, now covered in a generous amount of lube traces his own hole and inserts a finger.

The position, not ideal to hit the most desirable spot, but allows him the perfect view of Jackson underneath him. He adds a second finger, and closes his eyes briefly as he gets acquainted to the burn of his fingers scissoring him open. When he opens his eyes, Jackson is staring directly at him with such desire yet affection that burns Youngjae’s heart.

“Jackson.. you’re perfect. I love you so much.” He moans out once the third finger is in and making him feel excruciating full. Once he removes his fingers, Jackson pulls him down for a kiss and wraps his arms around his neck.

“Youngjae I love you.” Jackson moans between kisses. Youngjae is the first to break away, and places kisses along his neck and on his chest. He rolls his hips against Jackson cock, and the throaty groan that releases from them both, makes Youngjae level himself over the head. Without any warning, he sinks down to the base, and moans loudly at the feeling. His body is protesting against the intrusion, so he remains still to adjust to the stretch.

The pain now melting into pleasure causes Youngjae to roll his hips. It’s a feeling he instantly grew addicted to. He places his hands on Jackson’s waist as he lifts his hips, almost completely and falls back down. Youngjae continues his ministries, riding Jackson despite his thighs becoming tired. He makes a quick mental note to take his workouts more seriously.

“Baby you feel so good.” Jackson whispers as he hands reach for Youngjae’s dick. “Are you close love?” Youngjae nods as he doesn’t let off the pace he’s set. “Let me make love to you now.” Jackson purrs and all Youngjae can do is nod one too many times.

In a swift movement, Jackson switches their position, while never pulling out and begins to thrust incredibly slowly. On the first thrust, he hits Youngjae prostate and smirks when he watches his boyfriend, mouth agape, moaning his name.

“Jackson, faster please.” Youngjae feels his orgasm approaching and reaches for his own member.

“I’m so close Youngjae, let’s come together.”

With a few more thrust, Youngjae releases on their stomachs. Jackson follows, slowly thrusting into Youngjae to ride out his orgasm.

 

After several moments of heavy panting and messy cuddling, Jackson pulls out and lifts himself off Youngjae to head for the bathroom. Youngjae grabs Jackson by the wrist and pulls him down. “Not yet.” He mumbles against his boyfriend’s chest.

“Okay, love.” Jackson snuggles closer.

“I love you so much Jackson. You’re worth so much more than you give yourself credit for.” Youngjae thinks out loud, too tired to censor his thoughts. “If I could take away all your pain, I would in a heartbeat.”

“Youngjae..” Youngjae looks up to Jackson’s teary eyes. “You make me feel so loved that I don’t mind any hardships. Seriously, it’s insane how much I love you.”

 

After a shower, they cuddle on the couch, waiting for the members to return. Once everyone falls asleep, they share a few kisses in the dark before heading off to bed.

“Jackson, are you happy?”

“More than you can imagine.”        

All Youngjae wanted was to give Jackson what he gave to countless of people, honest happiness. So his tears naturally fall, because, Jackson, even if just in the moment is happy.  


End file.
